Florence Henderson got the boot from Dancing with The Stars

Kanye West was on Ellen and declared himself a “soldier of culture”!  Yeah, we don’t know what that means either.

Oprah tells Susan Boyle to send an autographed CD to the people who bullied her as a child.

The new show The Talk…talks about Taylor Swift and John Mayer.  Please say it ain’t so!

Tom Bosley, Richie Cunningham’s dad, is dead at 83

In case you missed it coming up soon!  I can’t believe who got kicked off of Dancing with The Stars!

I would have to say that this has been one of the worst months of my life!  A few weeks back Amy and I got THE CALL that no one wants to get.  The one where the doctor says, “I’m sorry but the test results are not good.”

Our dermatologist removed a 1.29 millimeter melanoma from her back.  The next step was to go to The Seattle Cancer Care Alliance.  There we met our doctor and his staff that I must say were beyond incredible.  He explained t0 us that our next step would be surgery to remove more tissue and the removal of a lymph node (ended up being 3).

So we went to surgery the following week at the UW Medical Center where we met more incredible people and received amazing treatment.  The results came back and there was no sign of cancer in the lymph nodes, BUT…there is always a but with cancer it seems.  The BUT was that they found a small cluster of “shallow” cancer cells near the original tumor (aka black mole).  This, in their world, is nothing to be concerned about and more tissue will be removed.

Please don’t take any of this blog to be medical advice or even accurate for that matter, but I am learning a lot about this nasty thing called Melanoma.  And from what I understand there is actually a zero stage of Melanoma, which is nearly 100 percent curable.  I’m assuming that is what it means when they find shallow cells that haven’t started to form a tumor.  So I’m praying that Amy will go in and have a little more tissue removed near the “cluster” and then we will be done.  From what I have gathered, they keep removing tissue until they have a section that is 100 percent clear.  In other words, they rarely say, “we found some bad cells but I think we got em all!”

If you have any moles that are changing colors and look strange then please, please, please get to a dermatologist.  This is especially true for those black moles that bleed…if you have one of those then see a doctor ASAP.   If you catch Melanoma or other skin cancers early then the 5 year prognosis is nearly 100%.

The question is…how can we reduce our chances of getting the big black mole?  Well, dermatologist recommend lots of sunscreen and staying out of tanning beds.  In fact, some research shows that you increase your chances of getting Melanoma by 70% by using tanning beds.  I know it sucks…we love the sun too, but thank God we live in the great northwest where it’s hip to be pale!

I love you and thanks again for your thoughts and prayers.  Keep them coming and we will keep you up to date.

Tony

When I was younger I thought it would be really cool to be able to run and do a handspring!  However, I was about as wide as I was long.  I was a chunky little fella and my one or two attempts and doing a handspring ended in me sliding across the grass on my back.  Thank God this was in a day before video cell phones and www.youtube.com!  I would  have definately been an internet sensation and ended up living in a psych ward for the majority of my teen years.   In the ninth grade I decided that I was tired of being the fat kid in the class so I went on a diet and lost approximately 30 pounds.  Plus I managed to grow during the process, which meant I went from short and dumpy to a lean and mean puberty machine.   

I clearly remember looking in the mirror in my bedroom one night and realizing I was no longer the fat kid.  And then it hit me, “I bet I can do a handspring now!”  So at almost 10 o’clock at night I turned on our front porch light and went out into the yard.  And with no fear I took off running.  I could feel the andrenaline pumping as I thrust my upper body and outstretched arms toward the thick green grass.  My hands planted perfectly and within seconds my feet were planted firmly back on earth.  I’m 43 years-old and I can still feel the joy in my  heart and soul.  I don’t know about you, but I need to do more handsprings in life.  I need to remove those obstacles that are keeping me from feeling the thrill of  victory. 

What is keeping you from turning handsprings?  What is weighing you down and keeping you from feeling the adrenaline rush of getting the win?  My prayer is that we will all begin to focus on removing anything that is weighing us down.

I am going to say this once and NEVER again…I have learned a lot from working with Fitz.  If you tell him that I admitted that then I will deny it and destroy this post!  Fitz is truly living his dream…he has wanted to be a major market morning star from a very early age.  So what separates him from the thousands of people who have big dreams that were never fulfilled?  The answer is…he wasn’t going to accept anything less than success.  He was not going to make excuses, put off doing what he needed to do to get better, or allow anything to get in his way of living the dream!

If you read my last blog you will notice it focused on resistance.  Resistance is anything that causes there to be gap between where you are today and where you want to be in life.  I call that gap a bottomless pit, because people can get sucked into it and never find their way out.  And it is a very ugly place to be in life.  The gap is filled with depression, despair, and discouragement.  And the driving force behind that is our excuses, procrastination, and willingness to give up.  I can ask you to fill in a blank that can help you begin to fill in the gap!  Do this, fill in the following blank with one word or several sentences,  ”If I could ___________________ then I too could pursue my dream(s).”

What did you put in the blank? For some of you…you may have said that if you could go back to college, earn more money, or get OUT of a specific relationship you could then pursue your dreams.  Others of you may say that if you were better looking, didn’t have to work so much, or had more support then you could live the dream!  And many of you said if you weren’t depressed, anxious, or ADD then you could be living the dream.  And your dreams range from wanting to lose weight to own your own business.  Well I say this in love, because I have lived in the gap and continually fill the vortex of the gap trying to pull me back in…you have to stop using or allowing those blank things to keep you from living your life to the fullest.

In fact, some of your statements…some of those things you said were keeping you from pursuing your dream is nothing more than fear.  You are afraid of failure so you allow them to keep you from pursuing your dreams.  After all, when we pursue a dream we take the risk of failure.  So many of us, including me, have chosen to make excuses…to play the blame game.  Why?  To keep us from going after what we want.  And then we find ourselves living a life we were not designed nor intended to live.  We settle for something else and we continue to spiral downward into the gap.

I want to encourage you to begin building a bridge to get over or a ladder to get out of the bottomless pit today!  It is a natural response to fear failure, but don’t allow that fear to guarantee your failure.  Say what?  If you allow the fear of failure to keep you from pursuing your dreams then you are guaranteed to feel like a failure.  You will never feel like you are living life…you will just fill like you are struggling to survive.

I will write some more on this topic in hopes that I can help you begin to build your bridge or ladder to success!

I love you and believe in you,

Tony

I was listening to a teacher out of Austin, TX today on my iPod.  He talked to those of us that have a bucket list.  You know, a list of things you would like to do before you kick the bucket.  He said that we all have different reasons for not marking things off of our bucket list.  We may say that we don’t have enough time, money, or ability.  And others just may be scared too death of failure.  Regardless, he says there is a distance we put between us and marking things off our bucket list and he labeled that distance with the term resistance.

In case you haven’t figure it out yet, I love talking about and writing about the need to pursue our dreams.  I have always been a big dreamer and I don’t say this to sound arrogant, but I have been able to fulfill many of those dreams.  It isn’t because I am smart or talented…it is because I am very persistent and have an extremely low self-esteem.  Meaning, failure is not something I deal well with so I work hard to accomplish a goal that I set for myself.  However, there are still many things on my bucket list that I have not been able to mark off.  What about you?

What are you allowing to keep you from you from marking things off your bucket list?  Let me ask you a question that a therapist asked me years ago.  And the answer to this question may be more powerful than you ever imagined.  I would love it if you would email me the answer to tony@seattlewolf.com.  Here is it is, “How would your life be different if you didn’t struggle with ________________?” 

What are you struggling with that is keeping you from accomplishing an enormous goal in your life?  When you answer the question I will then tell you why I asked it!  For example, some may say that “if I didn’t struggle with anxiety then my life would be different and I could go back to college and get that degree.”  Others may say, “if I didn’t struggle with depression then I would be able to work harder to get that promotion.” 

Let me hear your reason for not being all you believe that you can be!  And don’t forget to subscrive to my blog and recommend it to all your friends!

My father and I had a long talk today about my struggles with finances.  He blames himself for spoiling me rottengrowing up, but I assured him that he was not to blame.  He was the perfect example of what it means to be financially responsible.  My dad once worked as a bank president and later retired as a real estate broker.  He is truly a financial genius.  So he served as a great example for me…I just didn’t choose to follow his lead.  Hey, I was a kid…I knew everything!  All that sacrifice didn’t appeal to my party like a rockstar spirit!

Let me share with you somethings that I learned from my dad, but didn’t try to follow until this point in my life (the point in life being VERY recent).  My dad never felt the need to have the best of everything or to try and impress others.  And that is amazing because let me reiterate that my father was a very respected bank president.  This was back when being a bank president meant something.  He wasn’t some kid right out of college with the title of branch manager. 

Bill The Banker as he was politely called would decide whether you would get a  loan or not.  Your credit application didn’t go into a computer program or get submitted online (there wasn’t really an online process)…he sat down with you and got to know you on a personal and financial level and then he gave you the thumbs up or thumbs down.  I’m not telling you this to brag…I’m just painting the picture of a man in one of the most powerful positions you could have in his day.  So most men in that position would do what?  They would want to dress, drive, and dine to impress baby! 

I had other friends whose fathers had equally impressive positions.  And it would be safe to say that they had impressive salaries as well, but there was a big difference…you could just look at them and the way they lived and you knew it!  And that confused me as a child, because although I never did without the cool stuff (spoiled)…my dad always seemed to do without.  It was as if he didn’t want to be cool!  And in my mind my dad was very cool…so why didn’t he want to show the world that he was successful?  I was always proud of my parents.  They never embarrassed me, but I could not understand why they didn’t show the world that they had it going on.   Why didn’t dad have a vanity plate on a Cadillac that said the prez on it? 

Growing up some of my other friend’s fathers did drive Corvettes and Mercedes.  And they had homes (a.k.a cribs) that were well equipped with amazing appliances and some even had a pool in the backyard.   Not my dad, that wasn’t the way he rolled!  Every few years he would pull up in the driveway in a used car talking about the great deal that he hade just gotten.  We would all stare at the car thinking…you should  have gotten a great deal because it is uglier than $#!!  To make sure that you know that I’m not exaggerating…let me tell you about a few of our rides.  At one point or another we cruised around in a dark green pinto, a yellow pinto, or a Ford Grendada that looked as though it had been painted with mustard.

Please don’t misunderstand me.  There is NOTHING wrong with driving a very expensive car or living in a huge home.  Everyone can live the way they want here in America.  I just personally think it is more responsible to have those things when you can afford them.  I know…I know, I live on Snoqualmie Ridge and I bought my wife a very nice car.  I’m also broke so don’t do as I do…do as I say and listen to my dad or buy Dave Ramsey’s books!   By the way, I am going to work 10 jobs if I have too to get debt free so that I can say that I practice what I preach.  Let’s get back to my mom and dad who did just that!

I do have to admit that they recently spent a good amount of money on a NEW car.  It is the first NEW car that I have known my father to buy.  It is the very flamboyant…Honda Accord!  A Honda Accord is a very nice car, but they could have gotten any car that they wanted too.  He and my mother could easily be driving up and down the interstate in a sweet black on black BMW or Mercedes!  Sure, dad would be going 15 mph under the speed limit and forgetting that his signal light has been on for 26 miles, but they would be in a Mercedes or Beamer so who cares!  They still don’t feel the need for speed or to impress others.  Well actually I think my mom did want the Caddy, but negotiated a kitchen out of the deal.  She wants a new kitchen, but she is still content with the home they have lived in since 1969. 

They purchased their home for approximately $25,000!  It is a very nice home and is now worth well over five times that much, but it was then and is still is today the classic picture of a middle class neighborhood.  For years people have asked them, “why haven’t you moved out of that little house?”  In other words, you have made great money…why won’t you spend it? 

So my point is this and I believe it is a huge one to make.  My dad and mom didn’t feel the need to impress others at the expense of putting their family in debt.  My dad didn’t see the need to drive an awesome car or live in a huge home at the expense of not having money saved for his children to go to college.  My dad and mom were willing to do without some of the things they would have LOVED to have had so that they could make life easier for their family in the future.  

Both my sister and I graduated from college without having student loans.  My parents were able to help both of us purchase our first homes.   Today, they are 75 years-old and they were able to retire without worry.  Each month they don’t have to worry about paying for groceries, keeping the lights on, or…and here is the big one…whether they can live on that little amount they get from the government.  He isn’t soley dependent on that social security check.  And here is another big one…they are able to pay that HEFTY co-pay for their prescriptions (don’t bank on medicare helping a whole lot in the future). 

No, I didn’t grow up riding around in an impressive car or living in an overly impressive house.  My mom and dad were always nicely dressed, but they didn’t flaunt big diamonds or impressive Armani suits.  Now, they did take us on very nice family vacations every year, but the vacations never followed us home.  In other words, we went on vacations that dad didn’t pay for by using a credit card.  He had some weird thing called a savings account that he set up for emergencies and vacations!  As Dave Ramsey says, they lived like no one else so that one day THEY COULD LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE. My dad and mom planned for not only their future, but for the future of their children and even their grandchildren.  Now that is impressive! 

I love you mom and dad I’m doing my best to follow your lead!

Well I finished Rich Dad Poor Dad.  Unfortunately I am still a poor dad so I guess this stuff takes time!  Seriously, it was a good book, but it didn’t give a lot of practical steps to paying off debt and building wealth.  However, Dave Ramsey’s book, The Total Money Makeover does give you the secret to financial freedom.  I know this sounds like a paid advertisement, but it is not.  I totally recommend that you go to his website at http://www.daveramsey.com/ and check his stuff out!

I am 43 years-old and I am going to be honest with you…I basically have zero net worth.  Yes personally I have value.  My wife loves me, my kids love me, and you think enough of me to read my crazy blogs, but I’m a financial failure.  And it has caused undo stress in my life and sadly in the life of my wife and kids.  Now I know that people will say that money doesn’t buy you love and that your health and family is the most important things in life.  And you know who says that…broke people!  Obviously God, family, health and etc is what is most important in life, but we should all strive to be financially responsible.  

I will share the rest of my thoughts via audio so please click to listen or just save yourself some time and go cut up your credit cards!

blogger

Love ya,

Tony

I was recently doing pastoral counseling with someone who was having, in her opinion, a breakdown.  As we talked it became apparent that she had been remembering and in some sense reliving her mistakes and the many forms of abuse from her past.  Like many wonderful people that I meet she has been the victim of some very cruel people.  People who through their behavior, words, or neglect had conveyed a very powerful and negative message.  To her the message was clear…she didn’t matter.   After all, if she did matter…if she did have value then why would someone choose to treat her so poorly? 

Her problem is not that she is unlovable.  No, she is very lovable.  Her problem is not that she doesn’t matter.  She matter greatly to many people.  It is my belief that there are no accidental births.  There are plenty of accidental parents, but you were born with amazing purpose.  The problem she was having…that we all have from time to time is that she was believing the abusive people from her past.  

I will often ask people the following question, “If someone told you that you are green would you believe them?”  The answer is always the same…not one time has a person said yes.  Yet they have believed equally ridiculous statements to define them for their entire lives.  They have allowed an abusive parent, spouse, ex-spouse, or etc. to lable them as being anything from ugly to useless.  

People also allow their past mistakes or failures to define them as well.  If they failed at a job or relationship then they automatically take on the label of failure.  For some they see their past mistakes as unforgivable by God and mankind.  Let me just briefly say that I believe God forgives everything and anyone.  Mankind, well we can be a little more jugemental and cranky! 

My point, which I’m having difficulty getting to today, is that you can’t allow the abusive people or mistakes of your past to determine your future.  My dad says it like this, “the past is the past and what is done is done.”  In other words, you can’t change the past but you can decide how you will interpet it and if you will allow it to affect your future.  

My word of advice to you is to begin to take control of your future by shutting the door on your past.  You were wonderfully desinged and created to live out your dreams and to have a postivive impact on this world.  Anyone who has lead you to believe otherwise is a liar and the enemy.   I know that sounds harsh, but it is true. 

You would not allow anyone to call someone that you love a failure.  You would not allow anyone to continue to control or abuse those you love.  You would consider them the enemy and fight the gates of hell to set them free.  So why are you allowing your past mistakes or those from your past to do the same to you?  Set yourself free!  Your future is bright.  You are one of God’s greatest gifts to earth! 

I love you and believe in you!

Tony

Hello in Audio

The two books Im reading and listening to right now are The Total Money Make Over and Rich Dad Poor Dad. There is no doubt they can change a persons life IF they will follow what is in them.

My biggest mistake has been consumer debt (CD). CD is not just credit cards…it comes in the form of those 0% loans that turn into the we just buried your ass in high interest rate loans debt. I didnt just buy junk with these loans.

I got braces for Libby, saved my dogs life at the vet, and got a new pair of glasses. So it wasnt that I didnt need those things…the problem is that I didnt PLAN for those things. In other words, I live to high on the hog as we say back home. Im not saving any money for when emergencies pop up. Dont get me wrong, Im able to pay my bills and even have some nice things. The problem is that I have just been winging it and not saving ANYTHING.

As Dave Ramsey says, my money has been managing me instead of me managing it! And that leads to a major mess and major stress! Send some positive thoughts my way as I try to change some bad habit$.

Written via my iPhone so please ignore errors.