I was recently doing pastoral counseling with someone who was having, in her opinion, a breakdown.  As we talked it became apparent that she had been remembering and in some sense reliving her mistakes and the many forms of abuse from her past.  Like many wonderful people that I meet she has been the victim of some very cruel people.  People who through their behavior, words, or neglect had conveyed a very powerful and negative message.  To her the message was clear…she didn’t matter.   After all, if she did matter…if she did have value then why would someone choose to treat her so poorly? 

Her problem is not that she is unlovable.  No, she is very lovable.  Her problem is not that she doesn’t matter.  She matter greatly to many people.  It is my belief that there are no accidental births.  There are plenty of accidental parents, but you were born with amazing purpose.  The problem she was having…that we all have from time to time is that she was believing the abusive people from her past.  

I will often ask people the following question, “If someone told you that you are green would you believe them?”  The answer is always the same…not one time has a person said yes.  Yet they have believed equally ridiculous statements to define them for their entire lives.  They have allowed an abusive parent, spouse, ex-spouse, or etc. to lable them as being anything from ugly to useless.  

People also allow their past mistakes or failures to define them as well.  If they failed at a job or relationship then they automatically take on the label of failure.  For some they see their past mistakes as unforgivable by God and mankind.  Let me just briefly say that I believe God forgives everything and anyone.  Mankind, well we can be a little more jugemental and cranky! 

My point, which I’m having difficulty getting to today, is that you can’t allow the abusive people or mistakes of your past to determine your future.  My dad says it like this, “the past is the past and what is done is done.”  In other words, you can’t change the past but you can decide how you will interpet it and if you will allow it to affect your future.  

My word of advice to you is to begin to take control of your future by shutting the door on your past.  You were wonderfully desinged and created to live out your dreams and to have a postivive impact on this world.  Anyone who has lead you to believe otherwise is a liar and the enemy.   I know that sounds harsh, but it is true. 

You would not allow anyone to call someone that you love a failure.  You would not allow anyone to continue to control or abuse those you love.  You would consider them the enemy and fight the gates of hell to set them free.  So why are you allowing your past mistakes or those from your past to do the same to you?  Set yourself free!  Your future is bright.  You are one of God’s greatest gifts to earth! 

I love you and believe in you!

Tony

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